


you two are dancing in a snow globe (round and round)

by littleluthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, but like in a christmas way, ended up making it kinda angsty, here come the boring tags, i really just wanted to write some cheesy christmas dykes, kinda slowburn but also not really, slowburn, they used to date, they're useless and still in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21629779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleluthor/pseuds/littleluthor
Summary: “Alright.” Lena nodded, more to herself than Andrea as her brain kicked into work mode. “I’m in, but I’m gonna need a really great photographer.”“Already done. The CEO of Modern Era Bridal managed to get her hands on an incredible photographer who’s flying in from New York just for the shoot.” Andrea beamed. “You’re going to be working with Kara Danvers.”OR the cheesy hallmark christmas movie but make it GAY
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 109
Kudos: 915





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DECK THE HAAAAAAALLLS

_Six Years Earlier_

The Christmas lights glistened in the corner of her eye as Lena kept her sight on the door, eagerly waiting for Kara to walk in. She had always adored the holiday season - the nostalgia, the joy and generosity - but it was different with someone to share it with. The holidays carried a soft, warm glow in Lena’s heart - memories of her birth mom smiling as she carried a tiny Lena down the stairs to see what Santa had left for her. Christmas mornings spent with Lex testing out their new toys and competing to see who could build the most elaborate lego sculpture. It was the only real time she was guaranteed with her father - the only time he would always take off from work to be with them, before he passed.

Things had been rough in the years following his death - Lex had run off in a fit of homicidal fury at the world, Lillian had crumbled and all but officially signed over her parental rights to her last remaining child, and Lena was left alone. She had spent the remainder of her Christmases before college by herself at home, although the staff ensured that she was never truly alone. They would help her decorate the tree and bake gingerbread cookies, they always chipped in and bought her a Christmas gift, and in return Lena would save up her allowance and buy them each a small present. She tried to personalize them as much as possible, desperate to truly convey her gratitude to each and every one of them for everything that they had done for her, purely out of the goodness of their hearts.

After all, despite everything, Lena still found an odd sense of comfort in the holiday season. People were nicer, they became more generous. The world seemed a little more united, and a little less lonely. It didn’t matter what you were going through, it didn’t matter who you were or who your family was. Everyone could come together and appreciate the sight of a beautifully decorated tree. Everyone could find a small amount of joy in the first crunch of freshly fallen snow.

“ _Whoa._ ” the sound of her girlfriend entering the room cause Lena to turn, eyes immediately taking in everything that they could as Kara snapped a couple photos of her with the camera strung around her neck. She had been a little camera shy at first, but after a few years Lena had grown so accustomed to Kara taking photos of everything that she barely even noticed it anymore, it wasn’t until she was shown the resulting pictures that she even realized they were taken most of the time.

“Whoa yourself.” Lena agreed, heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floor as she made her way over. Kara immediately set the camera down and her hands moved to her waist, smoothing warmly over the silky material of Lena’s dress whilst Lena’s went to her girlfriend’s neck, adjusting her tie with a soft smile.

“You look beautiful.” Kara complimented as Lena puckered her lips and pressed a quick kiss to Kara’s, careful not to get any lipstick on her face. “I wish I could kiss you properly.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for that later, you know Eliza will kill us if we’re late to the party.” Lena reminded her.

It had become a yearly tradition, ever since Lena’s first year of college when Kara found out that she was planning to stay on campus for the holidays to give her staff some time with their own families. She traveled with Kara back to Midvale that year at her insistence, and was incredibly excited to find out that her family held a yearly Christmas Eve party at the town hall.

The whole town came out and celebrated the holidays together, they brought gifts for those less fortunate and left donations to the animal shelter. There were raffles for the school and a delicious array of home-made treats. Lena had happily helped decorate the hall beforehand alongside Eliza, Kara and her big sister, Alex. They’d strung up twinkly lights and tinsel, strategically placed mistletoe around the doorways, teamed up with the DJ to orchestrate the perfect Christmas Eve music and then set up the gift table.

It reminded Lena so much of Christmas at home with the staff, but it was also a completely foreign experience. No one was being paid to spend time with her, she didn’t have to fight off the nagging thought that everyone around her would rather be with their own families instead of with some lonely little rich kid. She could simply bask in the holiday fun, content in the knowledge that her presence was not an inconvenience.

It wasn’t like Christmas in the city, where the streets were teeming with people frantically doing last minute shopping and fighting over iPhones for their spoiled toddlers. Midvale was tucked away in it’s own tiny little corner of the world, it was a place where the people actually cared about one another. They were generous, not for praise, but because they actually wanted to see the community thrive. It was beautiful to see, and it made Lena endlessly thankful for her best friend.

She had shared her first kiss with Kara that evening too, beneath the mistletoe out on the snow dusted balcony. Her hands had been freezing cold, hair damp with the snow that had been falling around them, but it hadn’t mattered. It had been perfect. Just as each year that followed had been.

“There’s something that I want to talk to you about before we leave.” Kara told Lena, hands still wrapped warmly around her waist as they stood pressed together in Kara’s childhood bedroom. “I-..”

“Come on, slow pokes!” Alex popped her head into the room. “We’re gonna be late.”

“Yeah, we’re coming.” Kara replied as she regrettably let go of Lena and reached over for her coat.

“Tell me later, yeah?” Lena asked while Kara sweetly helped her into her jacket.

“Of course.” she promised with another careful kiss to Lena’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The evening was just as fun as it always was - Lena got a little tipsy and snuggled warmly into Kara as they swayed on the dance floor, Alex and her girlfriend snuck off halfway through and reappeared a little later looking significantly more ruffled, the gift donation table was stacked high and their Christmas cookies were just as much of a hit as they always were.

The evening was just beginning to wind down when Eliza stepped up onto the stage and gathered the attention of the room, Lena still curled warmly into Kara’s side.

“Thank you all for coming, and I hope you’ve all had a wonderful evening. The donations this year have been incredibly generous, and I can’t even begin to truly convey my gratitude.” Eliza beamed out into the crowd as they all smiled right back at her. “I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, however you choose to celebrate. On a personal note, I’d also like to take a second to offer my congratulations to my beautiful daughter, Kara, who has been accepted into the New York Institute of Photography and will be taking classes there starting in January. This has always been a dream of hers, and we’re so honored to stand by her side as she fulfills it. Try not to have too much fun out there in the big apple without us.” Eliza laughed as she raised her glass to Kara.

Applause rang out loudly through the hall, but it felt suddenly muffled to Lena. Kara’s body tensed beside her before she was whisked off in a crowd of people pulling her into hugs and offering their congratulations. Lena slipped out quietly before anyone had the chance to notice.

It wasn’t until much later that she saw Kara again, not until the party was over and everyone had gone home for the night. Lena was laying in Kara’s childhood bed, curled up in her pajamas as she listened to her girlfriend wish Eliza a goodnight and make her way up the stairs towards the room. Lena felt heartbroken, and she hated herself for it. She was proud of Kara, god, she was so incredibly proud of her - but her heart was selfishly aching so intensely that it felt as though her chest had been splayed open.

“Hey.” Kara whispered softly as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “I’m so sorry about all of that, I wanted to tell you beforehand but I didn’t know that Eliza was gonna tell everyone.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Lena told her as she shifted to sit up in bed and gestured for Kara to come over. She moved immediately, perching on the edge of the bed as Lena wrapped her arms around her waist. “Why didn’t you tell me that you applied?”

“I didn’t think I would get accepted, not ever in a million years.” Kara admitted as she breathed Lena in. “If I thought that it was something I had a chance at then I would’ve spoken to you about it way in advance, it impacts both of us. I just- I didn’t think it would happen.”

“But it _did._ I’m so proud of you, Kara.” Lena felt her voice crack and she internally cursed at herself as Kara slipped a hand under her chin and guided her face up.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, I know I should have told you.”

“I- It’s not that.” she admitted quietly. “I’m so proud of you, Kara. I know that you’re gonna do amazing things, you’ve worked so incredibly hard, and I-.. I know it’s selfish but I don’t want to be without you. I know we’re still young but I just, I don’t want to let you go. I didn’t think I’d ever have to say goodbye to you.”

“Hey.” Kara immediately shifted to pull Lena in even closer. “Who said we’re saying goodbye? It’s only for a couple years, we’ll both finish school, you’ll be the head of some big fancy magazine and I’ll be the amazing photographer who gets hired to work alongside you. We’ll be unbeatable, and we can have our own place, with our own rules. If we want to leave the Christmas lights up until January then we can, because we both love them. Heck, we can leave them up all year long. I know this wasn’t our plan, but it doesn’t mean we can’t make a new plan.”

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Lena admitted as she squeezed her arms around Kara. “I guess we better make the most of this Christmas, huh?”

“It’ll be the best Christmas ever.” Kara promised as she pressed a kiss to the top of Lena’s head.

“Every Christmas with you is the best Christmas ever.”

“I love you, so much.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

_Present Day_

“Okay, I want photos nine and twelve to go to print, eleven and eighteen digital, and use the filter from fifteen on all of them because the whole Christmas vibe is support to be soft and warm, not blindingly loud.”

“Okay, got it.” Eve frantically scribbled down notes as Lena went through the array of photos on her desk. “What about the text?”

“Um, okay, instead of _So much holiday fun_ I want it to read _Snow much holiday fun,_ and place it under the logo in that cute curly font that we used last time.” Lena instructed with a smile. “Oh, and I need you to send me the proofs ASAP, and make sure that Andrea gets a copy too.”

“Subtle hint to the boss that you want a partnership for Christmas?” Eve teased as Lena rolled her eyes.

“Just a gentle reminder that I am the most loyal and best art director that she has.” Lena winked as Eve left the office to get started on her tasks.

Her eyes fell on the photos spread out on her desk once again, and she couldn’t help the slight melancholy feeling that washed over her as she took in all of the Christmas images. Lena found herself sinking into the feeling for a long moment, losing herself in it until a reminder popped up on her phone that she had a meeting with Andrea scheduled in a couple minutes.

She quickly gathered all of the photos up, piling them in order before taking a long sip from her water in an attempt to wash away the last remnants of heartache that had surfaced. Lena glanced quickly over to the photo on her desk, one of herself and her best friend Sam from a few months ago. Sam’s baby daughter was propped up on Lena’s hip, wearing a chunky strawberry costume as they both giggled at her. The photo always cheered her up, and she was endlessly thankful for Sam and Ruby’s presence in her life.

“Oh Lena, thank god you’re here.” Andrea greeted as Lena popped her head into her office. “We have an emergency and you are my best under pressure.”

“You know it. What’s up?” Lena asked as she stepped inside and perched herself on the edge of the seat across from her.

“Modern Era Bridal needs an emergency re-shoot on their upcoming Christmas weddings digital cover story. The marketing team that they hired was a complete disaster, totally blew the whole thing.” Andrea told her as Lena took notes on her phone. “They’ve decided to cut their losses and get a hold of someone who can pull off a really great shoot in a really short period of time.”

“Andrea, you know weddings aren’t really my forte.” Lena argued before she was cut off, already aware of where the conversation was headed.

“That may be true, but you know Christmas. You know how to capture it, you know how to really sell it.” she insisted, eyes pleading with Lena so desperately that she couldn’t say no even if she wanted to.

Andrea was right, Lena was the perfect person for the job, but it all felt a little on the nose.

* * *

_Five Years Earlier_

The excitement thrumming through Lena was unlike anything that she had ever felt before. It had been five months since she had last seen her girlfriend in person. One hundred and fifty two days. Three thousand six hundred and forty eight hours. Not that she was counting or anything.

Their schedules had kept them both insanely busy, so much so that they just hadn’t had the time to fly out and see one another. Lena’s heart ached so deeply sometimes that it felt as though her chest was splayed wide, open and raw, to accommodate all of the sadness that she held inside.

They video chatted whenever they could, and they text back and forth throughout the day - Kara would send Lena photos of whatever ridiculously large portion of New York food that she had discovered that day, and Lena would send Kara photos of the sunset over the city each night - but it just wasn’t the same.

They had taken two weeks off during the summer and spent them alone in a beautiful, remote little cabin by the lake. They’d gone skinny dipping in the water and attempted to cook ridiculously elaborate meals together. They had reveled in the physical contact, in being able to actually touch one another after being deprived of it for so long, and it had been incredible. The only problem was that it had ended all too quickly.

They had made an endless number of plans to see one another throughout the rest of the year, but meetings just kept popping up. Kara had to cancel on Lena’s birthday _and_ Thanksgiving - both of which completely broke her heart, even if she didn’t let on.

Now though, Lena was on a flight to Midvale where Kara would be meeting her at the airport and none of it seemed to matter anymore. Her girlfriend’s flight from New York was scheduled to land half an hour before her own, meaning that Kara would be on the ground right now, and Lena was struggling to contain herself. She was finally going to see her.

Lena ached to just touch her face, to feel her arms around her waist, to _kiss_ her.

It had been way too long.

The excitement shattered before Lena had even stepped foot off the plane. The moment that they landed on the tarmac and her phone signal came back, Lena’s attention was drawn to the screen where a message from Kara had shown up from a few hours before.

_Kara: Hey baby, I’m so sorry but there’s a company who needs an emergency re-shoot and they asked for me personally. I tried to call you but it went straight to voicemail. I had to reschedule my flight but I should be there within the week. I can’t wait to see you. I’m so sorry, please call me as soon as you land so that I can explain everything. I love you. - K x_

The crushing pain in her chest was incredibly overwhelming, and Lena was helpless to fight the tears that had started to fall. She was so proud of Kara. She was doing incredible things and she was already starting to make a name for herself in the photography world, but Lena also wasn’t sure how much longer she could go on missing her.

Lena couldn’t see herself with anyone else, nor did she want to, but consistently being let down by the only person she truly wanted to spend time with was breaking her heart. It was difficult not to direct all of her frustration at Kara, but the nagging little voice in her head was torturing her. _You’re holding her back. Stop being so selfish. Let her go._

Still, Lena fought through the sudden onslaught of emotions as she collected her things and made her way off the plane. The airport was crawling with people - there were families everywhere, people flying home for the holidays, business people clearly en route to work and people who had just come back from vacation. Lena was thankful for the baseball cap that she’d chosen to travel in, it afforded her a certain amount of privacy as she walked, still teary eyed, towards the baggage carousel to collect her things.

She felt raw as she mindlessly waited on her suitcase arriving. It was as though all the excitement that had been fueling her for the last few weeks was completely gone. She’d been struggling to sleep, too happy counting down the days and thinking about running into Kara’s arms once she arrived at the airport. She had been aching to just sleep in the same bed once again, to feel Kara pressed warmly up against her back as she held her.

Lena spotted her little red suitcase the moment that it rounded the corner, and she immediately reached out for it once it arrived in front of her. She didn’t have much inside, just a couple outfits that she could mix and match and some basic toiletries. They had decided to ship out their Christmas presents to Eliza’s house instead of travel with them, it had made packing a lot easier, and it lifted the stress of potentially losing their luggage at the airport.

Lena had planned to get a cab from the airport, it was barely an hour to Eliza’s house, but she was pleasantly surprised to see the woman waving her over as she made her way to the exit.

“Lena sweetie!” Eliza beamed as she pulled Lena in for a ridiculously tight hug. “How are you, my darling? It’s so good to see you, I’ve missed your face. Kara called and asked me to come pick you up, she told me about work.”

Lena was mortified by the tears that burst free in lieu of a proper answer. Eliza simply squeezed her tighter, gently shushing her as Lena got hold of her emotions once again.

“You miss her too, huh?” Eliza asked with a sad smile.

“I haven’t seen her for half a year.” Lena admitted quietly. “She’s been so busy, I’ve been so busy. It just sucks. I was looking forward to seeing her.”

“Oh I know sweetie.” She agreed softly. “She’ll hopefully make it before Christmas.”

Lena fought through the rest of the day with Eliza. She found a little happiness in the way the tires crunched in the snow as they entered Midvale. Her breath steamed up against the window as she took in all of the decorations around the town - kids had already been out building snowmen and houses were alight with rows and rows of twinkly lights and plastic reindeer. It was beautiful.

She smiled as they hung Christmas lights in the hall for the party. She laughed when Eliza accidentally stopped beneath the mistletoe while leading the DJ into the venue to help get set up. None of it seemed to help her mood, though. There was one less pair of hands helping to set everything up, and it really just _sucked._

It wasn’t until way later that evening, once the hall was sufficiently decorated and Alex had arrived in town to help, that Lena really broke down. She’d had a good day, but there was a huge Kara-sized hole in her heart and she finally got up the courage to return her call once she was in bed - Kara’s childhood bed _-_ for the evening.

Lena lay watching as the moon illuminated the clouds just outside the bedroom window, allowing it to capture her attention for a long moment as she listened to her call ringing out. _Hi, this is Kara Danvers. I’m so sorry I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number then I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks._

Her heart felt sore, achy in a way that she hadn’t felt for a while as she watched the snow fall outside, hoping that Kara would call back if she got the chance. Something solid beneath the pillow caught her attention when Lena shifted onto her side, and she immediately reached around blindly to see what it was.

She recognized it immediately as one of Kara’s diaries, and she was just about to put it back when something slipped out of it and landed on the bed in front of her. Lena’s breath caught in her throat as she looked down at the little square polariod currently laying on the sheets. It was a photo of herself, fast asleep and dated from last Christmas. Her face was a little out of focus, and framed by a beautiful diamond ring that Kara was clearly holding. Scrawled on the bottom in black marker, it read:

_Christmas ‘14_

_I’ve always known._

It felt like too much. Too much to process, too much to deal with given everything that had transpired throughout the year. It made her heart soar, but it also made it ache an indescribable amount. Lena didn’t even know if Kara still felt the same way, it was nothing worth freaking out over, but she couldn’t seem to calm the intensity of her emotions.

Everything felt incredibly heightened, and she felt too overwhelmed to think clearly. Her heart was aching for the past, for the years where their time together felt like their forever. She wished so desperately that she could go back and fully appreciate those moments more. It seemed that she spent more of her time these days aching for old memories to return than she did actually enjoying her relationship with Kara.

Lena had a lot of thinking to do, and she couldn’t do it in Midvale.

The only thing left behind the following morning was a note on the kitchen counter for Eliza, and footprints in the snow that lead away from the front door.

* * *

_Present Day_

“Yeah, okay. Fine. I’ll do it.” Lena relented to Andrea’s request despite the tiny little knot of anxiety present in her chest. “How long do we have?”

“They want a full launch on Christmas day.” Andrea confessed quickly.

“Andrea!”

“I know! I know, it’s only a few weeks away. I’m totally aware of this.” she gestured frantically to the calendar hanging on the wall.

“Oh good, because you were acting like you weren’t! A shoot like this takes at least a month.” Lena stressed.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why it’s called an _emergency_ re-shoot, Lena. They’ve already started teasing it online, we can’t let them down. You’re the only person for the job.” she pleaded with Lena. “Christmas is the number one day for marriage proposals and when all those brides-to-be start planning their nuptials, Modern Era Bridal wants to be the one setting the trends. This job is huge, and I’m sure that when you pull it off, I’ll have no trouble convincing the board to give you that partnership that you’ve been not-so-subtly hinting at.”

“Okay. Okay.” Lena exhaled as she took a moment to gather her thoughts. “It’s not a real wedding, right? It’s just one that has to look great on camera.”

“Exactly.”

“Alright.” Lena nodded, more to herself than Andrea as her brain kicked into work mode. “I’m in, but I’m gonna need a really great photographer.”

“Already done. The CEO of Modern Era Bridal managed to get her hands on an incredible photographer who’s flying in from New York just for the shoot.” Andrea beamed. “You’re going to be working with Kara Danvers.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kara has bangs because i like the bangs OK y'all are just weak bang-haters who won't survive the winter

Lena’s stomach had been tying itself in agonizing knots for the reminder of the day, the sudden spike in her anxiety levels made her feel nauseous but she had persisted through it - not that she had much of a choice given the new project that she had been handed.

She had reached out to as many people as she possibly could - making sure to include every single last person who popped into her head that she may need to help contribute to the shoot - to ensure that they had as much notice as she could possibly give them, but even then it was still an incredibly short period of time.

Her brain was running a million miles per hour and her thoughts were frantic with potential themes and color schemes. She was mentally going through every single suitable venue that would actually be able to accommodate a shoot of that magnitude so close to the holidays. Everywhere tended to be booked solid this time of the year, which meant that it was going to be one of their more problematic challenges.

“Hello, earth to Lena.” Sam’s voice jerked Lena out of her thoughts as her focus returned back to the room. Sam was attempting to untangle a string of twinkly lights with Ruby propped up on her hip, desperately trying to grab at them with her chunky little fingers. “When I asked you to help decorate the place, I meant that I wanted you to help decorate.”

“Sorry.” Lena breathed a laugh as she walked over and lifted Ruby out of Sam’s arms. “Come on my mischievous little pickle, _you_ are certainly not helping, are you?”

“You need to switch your phone off for the night.” Sam insisted as she finally got the knot out of the lights. “You won’t sleep if you get yourself all wound up before bed.”

“I know, I just have so much to get done before meeting with the photographer tomorrow.” Lena explained as she set Ruby down in her walker before picking up the other end of the lights, holding them steady while Sam began wrapping the other around the large tree that they had picked up a few days earlier.

“You mean Kara?” She didn’t even bother trying to hide the amusement in her voice. “She’s hardly just _the photographer_ Lena _,_ it’s not like the two of you are strangers to one another _.”_

_“_ I haven’t seen her for five years, Sam.” Lena reminded her as she draped the end of the lights around the bottom branches of the tree. “We might as well be.”

“You know Saskia from my firm has been begging me to set you up with her. You should start putting yourself out there. She’s intelligent, you guys have the same sense of humour, she gets shit done and from what I hear, the courtroom isn’t the only place she dominates.”

“God Sam!” Lena exclaimed as Sam laughed and nudged at her with her elbow. “Don’t ever say that again! You know I’m not looking for anything, I just wanna focus on getting the holidays out of the way right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Sam waved her hand back and forth. “Come on, this place isn’t gonna decorate itself.”

Thankfully, the conversation was dropped for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Lena allowed the repetitive _click clack_ of her heels on the laminate flooring to soothe her nerves as she made her way into her office the following morning. Kara would be arriving at any moment, and Lena was doing everything in her power to break down all of the emotions swirling around inside of her and pack them away into tightly sealed little boxes to be filed away for much later.

“Morning.” Eve immediately greeted Lena, passing over her morning cup of coffee as she entered the office. “Why are you wearing your lucky heels?” she quirked an eyebrow in question as Lena nonchalantly took a sip of her the drink.

“I- I just wanted to look good. Professional. We have an important day ahead of us.” Lena explained, taking extra care to avoid her gaze.

“Interesting.” Her voice was laced with amusement. “It also wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the fact that Kara Danvers will be arriving momentarily, would it?”

“You spoke to Sam, didn’t you?” Lena sighed as Eve pulled out a little sheet of paper and began to read from it.

“Don’t let Lena get too wound up over Kara today, and tell her that I love her. She can do this. Also do not let her be late for dinner at 6.” Eve recited with a laugh before she put the note away. “She called earlier and left me that message. She seems to think that I’m clued in on something that I most definitely am _not_ clued in on.” Eve stated as she watched Lena intently, waiting for her to provide the missing information.

“Sit down.” Lena gestured to the seat across from her. “We have a huge shoot on our hands. Let’s focus on that, shall we?”

“Are you wearing highlighter?” Eve grinned as she leaned over the desk to get a better look.

“I need you to get me a list of all the top bridal designers in the area.” Lena attempted to deflect, only to be cut off by the woman sitting across from her.

“Already done and emailed to you.” Eve informed her with a smug smile. “What the heck is going on with you and Kara Danvers?”

”Fine.” Lena relented with a sigh. ”We used to be together, Kara and I. A long time ago.”she admitted quietly.

“What happened between you guys?”

“She went to New York to get her masters, and I stayed here.” Lena told her plainly. “Just a typical long distance relationship casualty.”

Lena was doing alright, she really was. She had found her own little family, she had an incredible job and she was truly happy for the most part - but then the nights got cold each year, the Christmas lights went up, and once again she was reminded of everything that she had lost. It still hurt, even after all the years that had gone by. It felt wrong to sum up their relationship the way that she had, but she was not in the mood to fully get into it.

“But now she’s back, right?” Eve gestured excitedly. “And you’re single. This could be a twist of fate, a second chance at love!”

“No.” Lena brushed her off immediately. “Fate twisted us for good reason. To have careers like we do, it takes a lot of time and dedication. I- It wouldn’t have worked.”

“I guess so.” She finally relented, although Lena suspected that it was more to do with the fact that they had to get to the conference room for their rapidly approaching meeting with Kara and Andrea, than it did with Eve actually dropping the whole thing. “You’ve worked your way up from an internship to partner in five years. That takes dedication.”

“Partnership is still to be determined.” Lena reminded her. “Which is why I don’t want anyone in the office to find out about Kara and me. I would hate for Andrea to think that I was letting my personal life interfere with my work life.”

“Don’t worry.” Eve pretended to lock her lips and toss the key behind her. “It’s in the vault.”

“Thank you.” Lena smiled briefly before the nerves caught up with her again and it slipped from her face. “I guess we better get to the conference room.”

Lena hadn’t fully registered the fact that she was about to lay eyes on Kara Danvers for the first time in five years. She had thought about it a lot - in her weaker moments she had even considered reaching out, but she had always talked herself out of it.

She often thought about what Kara would look like after their time apart. She thought about how she would feel just seeing her face once again. She wondered if the freckles on her cheeks had changed. Thought about the smell of her perfume, wondered if she still used the same one.

Lena still kept up with Kara’s work. She checked in occasionally, feeling that same sense of pride each time Kara accomplished something new in her career. Her photographs were captivating, mesmerizing in a way that Lena knew had nothing to do with her own personal bias and everything to do with Kara’s talent as a photographer.

“Ah! There she is now!” Andrea smiled as Lena stepped into the conference room with Eve in tow.

Kara was standing tall beside her, looking even better than Lena could have imagined. Kara looked _incredible_. She was dressed casually - her go to work look, jeans and a sweatshirt - and Lena found herself feeling suddenly self-conscious in her formal office attire and heels. Kara had her camera bag slung casually over her shoulders, and her hair was completely different.

It looked a few shades lighter, and it was definitely a good bit shorter than Lena was used to - it only just brushed her shoulders. Most notably though, Kara had _bangs,_ and they looked _good._

“Lena.” Kara stepped forward with a beaming smile, looking oh so happy as she extended her arms out for a hug.

Lena instantly froze, her body tensed as she watched the panic slowly bleed into Kara’s smile and she internally cursed herself, willing her shoulders to relax before awkwardly reaching out and accepting the hug. It was dizzying almost instantly. Kara smelled.. like _Kara._ Her arms felt warm and solid around Lena’s back, just as they always had, and she found herself fighting off the sudden, overwhelming urge to just begin crying into her neck.

“You two know each other?” Andrea asked Lena as she pulled away from the hug and dropped her arms awkwardly back down at her side.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” she nodded as she glanced over at Kara. “We, uh, we went to college together.”

“Yeah, Lena was my math tutor.” Kara breathed an awkward laugh. “I couldn’t have graduated without her.”

“Lena! Why didn’t you say anything?!” Andrea smiled as she glanced back and forth between the two of them.

“I guess it just slipped my mind.” Lena supplied weakly. “I’ve been so busy sorting through all of my ideas for the shoot. You know.. table settings, decorations, cake.”

“Oh yes, speaking of.” Andrea immediately switched into work mode and Lena could tell that she was in the clear, at least for now. “With the time crunch, you’re going to need to pull off your own Christmas miracle. I’m not going to keep you guys any longer than I already have seeing as how you’re already familiar with one another. I’ll check in later, and I’ll be in my office if you need anything. Let’s get this done.” she gave them both a nod of encouragement before leaving the room.

“I should get going too, I have to make a couple of calls.” Eve informed Lena with a quick gesture to the clipboard in her arms before rushing off.

The tension was palpable in the air between the two of them immediately. Lena fought the urge to wring her fingers together as Kara shifted awkwardly on the spot. The unfamiliarity was incredibly unsettling - it wasn’t something that she ever expected to experience with Kara Danvers. Once upon a time, Lena had known the woman standing before her almost better than she had known herself.

“We should get started.” She blurted after a few seconds, unable to endure the silence any longer.

“Yeah, sure.” Kara agreed awkwardly, although the small smile that broke free was sincere. “And hey, listen, I’m sorry about before. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t mean to rush in and just hug you.. I just got away from myself for a second.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Lena assured her, eyes fixed firmly on the wall behind Kara’s shoulder. “I just-.. I didn’t mean to make it weird. This shoot means a lot to me, my partnership is riding on me pulling it off, and I need my boss to know how serious I am.”

“A partnership?” Lena could hear the pride in Kara’s voice, and she swallowed thickly against the emotion bubbling up in her throat. “Lena that’s incredible! Congratulations!”

“Yeah well, I don’t have it yet.” she stressed. “So we need to get this done.”

“You will get it.” Kara shifted to catch her gaze, eyes immediately boring into her own. “I believe in you. I always have. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

The intensity was too much, it always had been. Kara looked at Lena with such an air of omniscience, like she could see right into her very soul and knew exactly what she was thinking. Lena pulled her gaze away almost immediately, desperate for a distraction as she gestured to the photographs spread out on the conference room table.

“We need a location. I checked with most of these online and they’re fully booked until the new year, which is no good to us. There are other options, but they’re really not big enough to accommodate a shoot of this magnitude. This is as far as I’ve managed to get.”

“I don’t really know the area.” Kara admitted as she scanned over the photos, getting a general idea of what type of thing they were looking for. “I’m not sure I’ll be much help in terms of somewhere local.”

“It doesn’t have to be local. We have the budget to travel, but it’s gonna be really tight with time.”

“Well, in that case, I have the perfect location.” Kara promptly looked up from the photos with a smile. “It has the perfect Christmas vibe, it won’t cost us a lot _and_ it has more than adequate space.”

“Perfect. I’ll have a crew on location ASAP and we can head out tonight.” Lena nodded as she began clearing the table. “Where about is it?”

“Midvale.”

“I-.. What?”

“Come on. You’ve seen it this time of year!” Kara encouraged. “It’s beautiful, and there are so many different places that we can shoot, it won’t really cost us anything and it won’t be busy. It’s perfect.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Lena agreed, although her insides were churning nervously. “Send the details over to Andrea and we’ll get everything sorted. We’ll be on the next flight out. Good thinking.”

“Perfect!” Kara beamed. “I haven’t even checked into my hotel yet so I’ll just head straight to the airport from here.”

“We can take my car, if you want.” Lena heard her voice offer before her brain could catch up. “I just need to stop off at home and get some clothes. It’ll save you spending a fortune on a cab.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Kara agreed with a small smile.

* * *

Walking up to her doorstep with Kara Danvers in tow was one of the most surreal things that Lena had experienced in a long time. It felt as though she were testing the universe, bringing her past into her present and just praying to any deity who may be listening that it wouldn’t implode in her face and leave her buried in the destruction.

Lena could tell that her hands were shaking as she brought the key up to unlock the door, and she willed herself to calm down. Her heart pounded as the two of them stepped over the threshold and into her place, her two worlds colliding after so many years.

It was ironic, really, that she had spent so much time in her own place dreaming of the home she could’ve had with Kara had things turned out differently. She never imagined that Kara would ever fit into the scenario now. Never thought about the fact that their paths would actually cross again.

_She’s only here for a few weeks._ Lena reminded herself. _Then she’s going back to New York._

“This place is beautiful.” Kara complimented as Lena led her through to the kitchen, internally cursing the mess that she hadn’t cleaned up before leaving the house.

There were empty baby bottles and pacifiers drying on the rack, awaiting Sam and Ruby’s next visit. There was a baby walker in the corner and toys strewn across the counter. Lena’s half eaten slice of toast from that morning was still on the plate where she had left it, too anxious to finish, and her dishes hadn’t been washed from dinner the previous evening.

“Sorry about the mess.” Lena cringed as approached the refrigerator, smiling momentarily at the faces of Sam and Ruby that gave her a silent sort of comfort, before she pulled two water bottles out.

Kara seemed almost dazed for a moment, as though she weren’t in the room anymore. Her focus had gone elsewhere, but it returned so quickly that Lena was unsure it had happened at all.

“Oh, thanks.” Kara quietly accepted the bottle of water that Lena passed over, a strange expression playing on her face as she took in the rest of the room.

“I’m just gonna go pack my things.” Lena informed her as gestured down the hall to her bedroom. “I’ll be as quick as I can. There’s some soda in the fridge too, if you’d rather have that.”

“I’m good. Thank you.” Kara raised her water bottle. “This is perfect.”

Lena could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears as she rushed around her bedroom, tossing odd bits and bobs into the case. Things were easier on location, she didn’t have to dress in her office attire, which means that she didn’t have to worry about it creasing in her case. They would be gone for three weeks, and she knew that she would need to recycle most of the outfits that were currently folded in front of her - which wouldn’t be a problem as long as she had access to a washing machine.

It took her just under twenty minutes to get the whole thing done, wheeling her case back along the hallway as she spotted Kara standing by the refrigerator in the kitchen with that same distant expression on her face once again.

“Are you ready to go?” Lena asked as Kara visibly startled at her arrival.

“Yeah.” she rushed out. “The, uh, the photos are beautiful.”

“Oh.” Lena smiled as she turned her attention to the array of photographs. There were ones of her and Sam from a few years before, all dressed up and ready to head out for the evening. There were a couple of drunken polariods, although they tapered off when it became clear that Sam was expecting. There were a ridiculous amount of baby photos, ones of the three of them in the hospital - Lena had been the only person in Sam’s life that hadn’t abandoned her for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. There were photos of Lena and Ruby napping together, photos from Sam’s birthday, Halloween, Christmases.

“Your daughter is adorable.” Kara’s smiled softly. “I always knew you’d make an amazing mom. She’s very lucky.”

“Oh!” Lena was helpless against the laugh that burst free from her throat. “Oh god no. Ruby isn’t my daughter. She’s my niece, Sam is my best friend. We’re not.. It’s not like that.” she explained with another laugh.

It most definitely wasn’t the first time that a person had made that assumption about them, but it was incredibly weird having _Kara_ be that person.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought.. Sorry.” Kara’s cheeks were burning red, and Lena just wanted to get on the road as soon as possible.

“It’s okay. You’re not the first person to think that.” she brushed it off. “We should get going now.”

“Y- Yeah. We should.”

* * *

_Six Years Earlier._

“You ever think about having kids?” Kara asked as she ran the pads of her fingers warmly along the bare skin of Lena’s back.

“I think I’d maybe like a couple.” Lena’s voice was rough, worn out from their earlier activities as she nuzzled further into Kara’s bare chest. “They’d have to have your last name, though. I’m not cursing them with the Luthor identity.”

“Hey, if we have kids they’re gonna be proud Luthor kids.” Kara pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Their mom is the best Luthor I know.”

“Yeah well, their other mom is the best Danvers that I know.”

“Luthor-Danvers it is then.” Kara breathed a laugh.

“What about dogs?” Lena asked softly.

“I think we’d need at least two.” Kara insisted. “We’ll get them before the kids are born, that way we won’t have to juggle puppy training _and_ a newborn.”

“Mhm. I’m gonna miss this.” Lena admitted quietly after a long moment, every fiber of her being reluctant to leave their summer hideaway.

“I hate being away from you.” Kara’s arms wrapped securely around her waist. “It’ll be worth it though, I wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. We’ll be able to afford a beautiful house with a nice backyard for the dogs, and the little Luthor-Danvers’ can run free. We can have BBQs in the summer and we can have a huge Christmas tree in the winter. We’ll be _so_ happy.”

“I’m already so happy.” Lena lifted her head to punctuate her point with a kiss.

“Me too.” Kara mumbled against her lips. “The happiest.”

* * *

_Present Day_

Their plane tickets were pre-booked to ensure that they would definitely be on the next flight out to Midvale. Lena had sent off a quick text to Sam, filling her in on what was happening and promising that she would be back in time to celebrate Ruby’s first Christmas with her, before they had checked their bags in.

Lena knew from experience that it was a short flight, no more than a couple hours, but she still felt incredibly anxious. The last time that she had boarded a flight to Midvale, Kara was supposed to be waiting for her at the airport. Now here she was, five years later, boarding that same flight with Kara by her side, and five years worth of distance between them.

“It’s gonna be kinda late when we land, but I was thinking that maybe we could brainstorm flower ideas on the flight and then stop by Alice’s floral store once we’re in town?” Kara offered as they took their seats in the departure lounge to await their flight being called. “The earlier we get the order in, the better.”

“Oh yeah, that cute little place by the book store?” Lena remembered it fondly. Kara always bought her mom a bouquet when they were in town, and Lena adored helping them pick out the perfect additions to the bunch. She actively avoided thinking about the single red rose that Kara would also purchase for her whenever they were there.

“Yeah, that’s the one. I heard that Alice is struggling with business, and I know that we’re getting the fancy bouquets flown in for the shoot, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt if we buy a couple from her too.”

“I’ll cancel the order.” Lena shifted to slide her phone out of her back pocket and immediately typed out an email to Eve, letting her know that she wouldn’t need to reach out to the florist. “We’ll just get everything from Alice.”

“That- That would be amazing.” Kara breathed her appreciation. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s the least I can do.” Lena brushed it off as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. “She was always super sweet, and I’m pretty sure she purposely undercharged us whenever we bought anything from her.”

“We did buy a lot from her. Eliza spent a small fortune on mistletoe alone, she wanted it all over the hall.” Kara laughed at the memory.

“Yeah I remember. At least Alice will have that order to look forward too as well.”

“Oh, we don’t get it anymore.” Kara admitted quietly. “I asked Eliza if she would take it down, I didn’t wanna think about it after..” she trailed off, seemingly realizing that she was actually talking out loud. “Sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Lena whispered after a long moment, although it wasn’t quite loud enough for Kara to hear.

They fell into an awkward silence after that, the tension palpable around them as people rushed back and forth. Lena found herself feeling incredibly grateful for the hustle and bustle of the airport, it provided a welcomed distraction, and she enjoyed just watching everything unfold as she sat quietly on the sidelines.

“Hey, Lena?” Kara spoke up after a long moment.

“Mhm?”

“If I could go back to that year, I-..” she began before the overhead speakers cut her off.

_Attention, flight 212 to Midvale is now boarding. Flight 212 to Midvale, now boarding._

“Come on, we better get going.” Lena grabbed her carry-on before standing up.

The two of them walked silently, side by side, towards the gate.


	3. Chapter 3

The soft pressure on her arm caught Kara’s attention, drawing her eyes away from the movie playing on the tiny screen in front of her as she glanced down. Her heart seized immediately as her eyes fell upon a head of dark hair resting atop her shoulder. She slipped her headphones off as gently as she could, taking extra care not to jostle Lena in case she had fallen asleep as Kara suspected.

“Hey, Lena?” She whispered quietly as she craned her neck around to try and get a look at her face.

“’m not going to prom with a panda.” Lena mumbled quietly, eyes flickering beneath her eyelids as her lips fell into a soft pout. “Got sand in m’ shoe.”

Kara breathed a quiet laugh for a moment before the reality of the situation caught up with her once again, and she felt the smile slip from her face. They still had another couple of hours before they landed, and she really didn’t want to wake Lena. It was clear that she needed the rest - she only ever talked in her sleep when she was exhausted- but still, something about it felt wrong.

Not in the sense that it was something she shouldn’t be doing, more so in the way that Kara felt as though she were invading Lena’s privacy by allowing her head to remain on her shoulder. The problem was that it felt _nice_. It felt warm and familiar, comforting in a way that had grown to be unfamiliar to her over the years. It was something so incredibly small, but after years of nothing, it felt like an awful lot to process at once.

The last couple of days had been overwhelming for her to say the very least. She had been hired at the last minute as the photographer for a massive emergency Christmas re-shoot, which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Kara, until she had found out who she would be working alongside.

She had almost thrown up upon hearing the news. The rush of adrenaline that flooded her system had been so intense that it almost triggered a panic attack. She was given the option of turning it down of course, she wasn’t required to take the job, but it felt like the right thing to do given everyone who was relying on her.

Although, she would be lying if she said that working alongside Lena didn’t play a large factor in her decision making process too.

Kara had never quite forgiven herself for allowing Lena Luthor to walk out of her life all those years ago. She had been a dumb kid, too caught up in the rush of finding something that she loved and actually succeeding at it. The success had felt incredible, the mere knowledge of people actually liking her work had been a rush like no other, but Kara had allowed herself to swim out into the middle of the ocean instead of simply enjoying it from the shore, leaving Lena all alone on the sandy beach awaiting her return.

She didn’t blame Lena for walking away, not for a single second. The truth was that Kara fully understood why she had, and she still held an incredible amount of ache in her heart for not realizing it sooner. The day that she arrived in Midvale, late on Christmas Eve night, to find out that Lena had gone, was a day that she knows will stay with her for a long time to come.

She knew now that it had been selfish, and maybe more than a little naive of her, to assume that Lena would wait for her, but honestly, Kara hadn’t realized the impact of her actions until that day. It took losing the one person who she loved most in the whole entire world, to realize that Lena was in fact the only thing that truly mattered to her.

It had been a rough blow, one that she wasn’t really convinced had healed. The passage of time had definitely dulled the ache, but there was always a little something in her day to day life that reminded her of Lena for a brief moment, and she found herself hurting all over again.

It was too easy for her mind to slip back into that place, with Lena asleep on her shoulder and the plane headed for the oh so familiar snow covered little town. If she wanted to, Kara could close her eyes and allow herself to slip back into that world, just for a moment, but she didn’t.

It wasn’t fair to Lena. Kara didn’t have the right to do that anymore. She wasn’t going to come crashing back into her life, essentially a stranger, and just pretend for her own selfish enjoyment that she hadn’t tossed away the future she had planned with the woman currently asleep beside her.

There was a lot going on in her head, a lot of old feelings resurfacing and a lot of unresolved tensions floating around inside her brain. Still, after everything, Kara couldn’t help the pride that swelled in her chest when she thought about how incredibly well Lena had done for herself.

She had worked her ass off from the ground up, she hadn’t fallen back on any of her family’s privilege in order to get ahead, and her work was indescribably good. Lena Luthor was strength and grace personified, and it only made Kara resent herself even more for the part that she had played in breaking her heart.

She never thought that she would be that person, didn’t ever think her name would be on the list of people who had hurt Lena Luthor.

The feeling that surged through her earlier that day when she stepped into Lena’s place for the first time was still lingering viciously in the pits of her stomach. Kara hadn’t realized until that very moment that all these years, in the back of her mind, she was still subconsciously planning a life with Lena Luthor. She hadn’t realized at all, not until she thought it was gone forever.

Her stomach had seized viciously the moment that her eyes had fallen on all of the baby things scattered around Lena’s kitchen, she had almost wanted to cry as she’d looked at the array of photographs on the fridge - photos that she’d dreamt of taking with Lena and their own little family, once upon a time. Lena had looked so incredibly happy, and the guilt had been tying Kara’s stomach in knots ever since.

Sure, Lena had cleared things up right away. The photographs weren’t of her partner and baby, but they could have been. How dare Kara come crashing into a life that Lena had built for herself and feel jealous of it. It had been her own fault, her own actions that led to their parting, she had no right to feel anything anymore.

* * *

The first thing that Lena noted as she was starting to wake back up was the warm blanket of contentment that was wrapped around her. She felt surprisingly well rested, comfortable in a way that she hadn’t felt for a long time as she slowly got her bearings. She wanted to nuzzle into the feeling, carry it around with her so that she could dip into it whenever she wanted.

“Hey, sorry.” A voice spoke quietly to her. A familiar voice. A comforting one. “You fell asleep and I didn’t want to move you, I figured it would be best if you didn’t wake up with a sore neck. We’re gonna be putting in some long hours.”

Kara. It was Kara’s voice.

“Oh, sorry.” Lena’s voice was rough as she immediately lifted her head and settled a little more comfortably in her own seat, feeling her cheeks flush as she trained her eyes on the seat in front of her. “I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“It’s okay, honestly I didn’t either.” Kara admitted with a small smile - it went unspoken that they’d both been too nervous about seeing the other.

Lena felt as though a spotlight was trained on her as she made her way towards the baggage carousel once they were safely inside the airport, her thoughts were so loud that she was worried Kara could actually hear them. She hadn’t been here since that year - she’d cried quietly from the flight all the way through until Eliza greeted her at the exit. It was strange, being back after so many years. Everything looked exactly the same, but Lena couldn’t have felt more different.

The last time she had actually set foot in the airport was when she was headed home after finding the photograph that had fallen out of Kara’s diary. Her heart clenched painfully at the thought. Lena could feel herself getting too caught up in her own personal emotions, and she had to actively push them down and file them away for later, lest she allow it to distract her from her work. She was here for business, nothing more and nothing less. She had a job to get done, and she was sure as hell going to do it.

* * *

“Hey, is that you all settled and checked in now?” Sam greeted Lena warmly as she answered the call.

“Yeah, I’m at the hotel right now.” Lena nodded into the empty room. “I was just calling to let you know that we got here safe.”

“How are you feeling about the whole, you know, working with Kara thing?”

“It’s.. It’s strange.” She admitted quietly. “I’m glad for the space now. We have so much work to get done and I keep getting caught up in old emotions, the models are flying in tomorrow and we have to go pick out a tree to use. It’s just so surreal being back here, nothing has really changed from what I can remember. I forgot how beautiful it was.”

“There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing, Lena.” Sam breathed a laugh. “I think it’s pretty normal.”

“I know that.” Lena argued back weakly. “It’s just.. It doesn’t feel like reminiscing. I feels like.. I don’t know, it feels like a lot of things.”

“Is that code for _We didn’t really get any closure, and even though we broke up we didn’t ever fall out of love?”_ The sincerity was clear in Sam’s voice despite the slight teasing tone.

Lena let out a long sigh in lieu of a proper answer. She was too exhausted to get into it all, she just wanted to get some sleep and wake up fresh tomorrow morning.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, Sam.”

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Sam’s voice was gentle, and Lena hated the pity. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just hate to hear you so down, I don’t like that you’re on your own dealing with all of this. ”You’ve always been there for me, through everything.”

“It’s fine, I promise.” Lena assured her weakly. “I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight.”

She hung up before Sam had the chance to respond, making a mental note to text her in the morning and apologize for being so blunt with her. For now though, Lena just wanted to zone out for a little while.

She loathed hotels - they were so impersonal, and there was a lingering sense of loneliness that stuck with her whenever she was on her own. Part of her almost wished that she could have followed Kara to Eliza’s place - she wondered if the tree would be up yet, standing proudly in the corner of the living room, or if she had baked her first batch of holiday cookies this year.

Lena missed her a lot, she often found herself wondering how she was getting on, wondering if she hated her for breaking her youngest daughter’s heart. Eliza Danvers had been in a mother to Lena in a way that she hadn’t known since she was four years old, before her birth mother passed away.

That’s what had been the hardest - Lena hadn’t just lost Kara, she had lost Eliza and Alex too. She had lost holidays with an actual family, one that she was a treasured part of. She had lost Midvale. Worst of all, though, she had lost her best friend.

* * *

The little flower shop by the book store was exactly as Lena had remembered it - it almost seemed as though each and every flower was still in the very same spot that it had been way back on her very first visit with Kara all those years ago. She’d been barely 18, and it was still just as beautiful as it always had been.

They’d had an almost painfully long day getting set up at their first venue where they would be shooting the wedding ceremony the following day, but the darkness of the evening only seemed to heighten the experience, allowing the Christmas lights to glisten beautifully as they reflected upon each petal, and Lena found that she couldn’t complain about a single thing.

“Oh gosh, Kara! Lena!” Alice greeted them with a beaming smile just as she always had. “It’s been a long time, it’s so nice to see you both together again!”

“Oh, we’re not..” Kara supplied weakly as she waved a hand back and forth.

“We’re here to pick out some flowers for the arrangements.” Lena smiled as she fought against the tense knot in her stomach.

“Oh yes of course, I got your email sweetheart.” Alice smiled as she rounded the counter and gestured for them to follow her. “Right this way.”

Lena was surprised to find that it was actually incredibly enjoyable picking out each individual flower for each arrangement. Kara had some great ideas and an excellent eye for color schemes, Alice happily added her own expertise and Lena was more than happy to just watch as they worked. She contributed when required, and soon enough they had all of the flowers for the shoot picked out.

“I’ll get started on this right away.” Alice assured them as she held up her notes. “I’ll have the first lot ready for collection first thing tomorrow morning, I’ll call you as soon they’re done.”

“Thank you so much.” Lena smiled softly. “I’m already confident that they’re going to look amazing.”

“Yeah, thanks Alice.” Kara voiced her own appreciation for the woman. “We can’t wait to see them.”

The two of them were just about to turn and make their way out towards the exit when Alice called them back once more.

“Oh, how could I forget.” she smiled as she rushed off behind the counter once more, appearing a few moments later with a single red rose. “Your little tradition. It’s on me, though. It’s just so incredible to see you two back together again. I remember Eliza telling me how heartbroken she was about the whole thing.”

“O- Oh.. Thank you.” Kara glanced awkwardly back at Lena before accepting the rose from Alice. “Sorry about that.” She breathed an almost pained laugh once they were out of the store.

“It’s okay.” Lena brushed it off with a wave of her hand. “She’s just being nice.”

“It’s a little awkward though, isn’t it? People thinking that we’re back together, when we’re obviously not because-..”

“I said it’s fine, Kara. God!” Lena snapped a little more roughly than she had intended. “Can we just go? I have to get back to the hotel.”

“Yeah no, of course, I’m sorry.” Kara rushed out as the two of them clambered into the car that they’d rented.

Despite the incredibly long, emotionally taxing day, Lena found that she couldn’t actually get to sleep when she finally crawled into bed later that night. It felt as though her body was too exhausted to remember how to actually fall asleep.

The annoyance finally won out over her stubbornness, and she flicked the covers back with an air of irritation before slipping out of bed. It was quickly approaching midnight, but she already knew that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep any time soon.

She felt guilty for almost snapping at Sam on the phone, and for completely snapping at Kara earlier in the day. She missed the comfort of her own bed, and she hated that she couldn’t seem to shake the heartache that had been following her around since she had laid eyes on Kara for the first time after so many years.

Her mind felt incredibly jumbled - a feeling that Lena found beyond unsettling having been raised as a Luthor. It took her barely a moment to decide what she wanted to do to rectify it, and after grabbing her coat and boots, Lena headed out into the freezing cold, snowy night.

* * *

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” A voice behind her made Lena jump up from the bench where she was seated at the snow covered beach.

“Jesus, Kara!” She exclaimed, hand instinctively covering her chest as she felt her heart pound against the inside of her ribcage. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“Sorry!” Kara rushed out immediately. “I didn’t mean to frighten you! I swear! I couldn’t sleep either, and I haven’t been out here for a while. I just wanted to clear my head. I didn’t know that you would be out here too.”

“How come?” Lena asked as she sat back down on the cold wooden seat, shuffling over to allow Kara space to join her.

“It reminds me of you. I guess it just hurt too much to come down here without you.”

“I meant, how come you can’t sleep?” Lena clarified as she kept her eyes on the icy waves in front of them.

_“Oh_.” Kara breathed out, her breath turning into a thick, white cloud right in front of her face. “Just a lot on my mind, I guess. What about you?”

“Yeah, me too.” Lena nodded before turning to face her once again. “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” Kara waved it off. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Yeah, I do.” Lena insisted quietly. “I’m sorry, I’m just stressed about everything.”

“I forgive you.” Kara’s lips turned up into the smallest hint of a smile before they each turned to face the water once again. “I don’t think I could pull off this job without you, so if you need to get snappy then it’s a small price to pay.” she breathed a laugh.

“It’s so beautiful here, all year round.” Lena commented as she glanced up at the stars twinkling above them.

“You remember when we camped here that one summer?” Kara asked with a small laugh.

“How could I forget?” Lena smiled in reply. “I woke up with sand in so many places that sand should never, ever be.”

It wasn’t much longer until Lena found herself back in her hotel room, her nose red and her hands shaking from the cold, but heart feeling a little bit lighter.

* * *

“Okay so I’m thinking.” Lena gestured to one of the many trees in the lot. “We’ll put lights on it, of course, and maybe some ribbon, but I want some shots of the bride and groom putting an ornament on the tree together.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds good.” Kara encouraged with a nod. “The guests could leave their wedding gifts beneath the tree, too.”

“I’ll have the crew wrap some cardboard boxes to use, we have a ton from all the equipment anyway.” Lena gave the tree a final glance. “I think this is the one we’ll get. It’s the most symmetrical of them all.”

“Don’t worry, I can edit anything that looks out of place.” Kara assured her. “It’ll look perfect, I promise.”

“Yeah that’s true. It’ll be quicker if there’s less editing that needs to be done, though.” Lena mentally checked one less thing off her list as they began the long walk back through the Christmas tree lot. “I just need to arrange for the crew to come pick it up and have it decorated at the venue.”

“We have to pick the rest of the flowers up too.” Kara reminded her. “And we really should stop for something to eat.”

“Still the same appetite I see.” Lena breathed a quiet laugh at Kara’s blush as they fell into a comfortable silence.

The snow crunched thickly beneath their feet with each and every step, dusting the trees in the lot and settling atop the good few inches that had already fallen - the perfect combination for building a snowman, Lena noted.

* * *

_Eight Years Earlier_

“God, it’s really coming down out there.” Lena marveled at the snow falling in thick, heavy chunks outside the window as she snuggled further into Kara’s neck.

“Give me a second.” Kara pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before getting up from the couch, leaving Lena curled up on her own with a pout on her face. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” Kara laughed before rushing out of the room.

Lena could hear her shuffling around in the hall for a long moment, groans and a couple of loud thuds echoing into the living room before she finally returned with two ridiculously padded pairs overalls and a pair of gloves for them each.

“It’s perfect snowman weather.” Kara offered as an explanation. “It’s not too soft, but it’s not like super frozen yet. You said you’d never built one before.”

She was right, Lena hadn’t ever built a snowman. _It’s a waste of time,_ Lillian would say. _It’ll melt anyway. You should be studying_ , and honestly, the last thing that Lena wanted to do was leave the warmth of the house and spend a couple hours outside - she was more than content to lay snuggled up with Kara and watch whichever ridiculous, cheesy movie that she picked out - but the excited glint in Kara’s eye was enough to convince her to get up.

“The gloves have a rubber coating, so that they don’t soak through.” Kara informed her as she helped Lena into her coat. “There’s nothing worse than something you’re wearing getting all wet and sticky.”

“Hmm.” She hummed as she quirked an eyebrow. “I seem to remember you stating the exact opposite the other night when I was-..” Lena was immediately cut off with a warm hand over her mouth, sticking her tongue out and licking it in retaliation.

“God, you’re so gross!” Kara laughed as she wiped her palm on her jeans. “Come on, I need you to help me into the pants.” Kara held up the padded bottoms, they didn’t have much bend in them and she was worried that she’d topple over if Lena didn’t give her a hand.

“That’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d hear leave your mouth.” Lena laughed as Kara playfully rolled her eyes.

“You’re _incorrigible.”_

“You love it.”

“I do.” Kara pressed a quick kiss to her lips in agreement. “So much.”

* * *

_Present Day_

“You know, Eliza was asking for you.” Kara informed her as they continued down the snow covered trail out of the Christmas tree lot. “She told me to invite you to dinner tonight, she’s making stew, but I totally understand if it’s not something that you wanna do. I won’t even tell her that I asked you.”

“Why didn’t you come after me?” Lena heard herself blurt out before her brain could catch up, mentally pleading with the universe to allow her to fall through the snow into an endless pit to escape. “I-.. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to.”

“Hey.” Kara’s voice was gentle as she reached a hand out to stop Lena from walking away. “I didn’t.. I don’t know.” she breathed out a long, slow breath as she gathered her thoughts. It was clear that she had been caught off guard. “I mean, that’s a lie, I _do_ know. I- I was a coward, I felt like the worst person alive knowing that I’d pushed you so far away and not even realized it. I mean, what type of person does that, you know? I was supposed to be your partner, the one person that you could always rely on, and I let you down monumentally.

I just got so caught up in myself and everything that was going on, I didn’t even realize that I was hurting you until it was way too late. I wanted so badly to come after you, but I think that I needed that time for myself to put things back into perspective. I had a lot of thinking to do about how I let myself slip so far, not just with you but with everyone else too.

Losing you was the biggest mistake of my life, Lena. I never ever wanted to be the person who hurt you, I never thought that I would be able to hurt you even if I tried. I loved you so much, and I really hope that you know that. It wasn’t about you, you didn’t do anything wrong, and I don’t hold anything against you. I just want you to know that I’m so incredibly sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’m sorry that it took me this long to finally apologize. I meant to do it sooner, I wrote you so many letters, but I didn’t ever send any of them. Then the years just kept coming, and I started to wonder if you’d moved on and found happiness with someone else, I didn’t want to send a letter like three years later, you know? I’m just really sorry.”

Kara was flushed and almost entirely out of breath by the time she finished talking, the tip of her nose was red from the cold and there was a little puff of white clouding the air in front of her each time she exhaled.

Lena stood rooted to the spot, blinking away mortifying tears that had gathered in her eyes as her own breath came a litter faster and harder than usual. She should have kept her mouth shut, she shouldn’t have said anything. She wasn’t sure that she had been prepared to hear everything that Kara had said - it was a _lot_ after five years of speculation. Five years of making up a million different scenarios inside her head, wondering what Kara had been thinking. Wondering if she blamed her for leaving, or if she understood. Wondering if she even cared, or wondering why she hadn’t come after her.

Just wondering.

Now though, she had the answers.

Which was maybe why she found the gap between them suddenly growing smaller, maybe that was the reason she found herself suddenly reaching out for Kara’s face. Maybe the closure was fueling Lena, eyes just about to flutter closed as she felt warm hands settle heavily on her hips.

Maybe.

She wouldn’t know, though.

The shrill sound of her ringtone blasted throughout the quiet of the Christmas tree farm, causing both of them to break apart so quickly that Kara almost toppled over while Lena desperately willed her shaking hands to relax as she fished out her phone from her coat pocket.

“It was Alice.” Lena informed Kara a few moments later as she tucked her phone away safely in her pocket. “She said the rest of the flowers are ready for collection.”

“O- Oh yeah, good. That’s good.” Kara nodded enthusiastically before clearing her throat. “We should get going then, huh? Wouldn’t want to leave her waiting for too long.”

“Yeah, we should go.” Lena agreed awkwardly, kicking a little chunk of snow with the tip of her boot before the two of them headed towards the exit once more, in silence this time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun with this one, thank u all for reading <3

Lena’s thoughts had been reeling for the entirety of the day after they left the snowy little Christmas tree farm. She had barely been able to focus on all of the work that they’d had to do - she’d accidentally drank an entire cup of tea before realizing that it wasn’t the coffee that she had intended to get for herself, she had almost tripped over the very large, very important switch for all of the Christmas tree lights, and she had walked right into one of the crew members, who had in turn fallen over at the sheer force.

Her heart was still beating a little faster than usual by the time she got to her hotel room later that evening, eager to have some time alone - in which she could attempt sort through her many jumbled thoughts, and hopefully clear her head enough to fully concentrate tomorrow.

Lena kept eye contact with herself in the mirror as she wiped off the day’s make-up, allowing the steady sound of the large hotel bathtub filling up to soothe her. It was a strange, although not entirely unusual, preference that she had. Any consistent, white noise always helped her focus more - whether it be a fan, the AC in her car, running water, the waves lapping against the shore.

It had soothed her as long as she could remember, and she was especially grateful for it after the events of the day. The slow trickle of the water allowed her to focus on her thoughts in a way that wasn’t entirely overwhelming as she slowly slipped into the tub, leaning forward so that she could put as much of her arms beneath the warmth as possible.

It felt incredible after being out in the cold all day, and she already felt marginally better than she had.

It wasn’t until much later that Lena finally relented, the water colder than what would be considered acceptable, and finally climbed out of the tub. She dried off and dressed in her warmest, fluffiest pyjamas - intent on crawling into bed and reading for a couple of hours before she eventually had to get some sleep.

Her plans were derailed by a knock on her door not long after she had settled into her book, and she padded towards the source a few moments later.

“Hi.” Kara’s face greeted her immediately upon opening the door. “Andrea gave me the room number, I hope this is alright?” She asked nervously, fingers wringing together as she smiled.

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s fine.” Lena stepped aside and gestured behind her. “Come in.”

“Thank you.” Kara breathed, looking a little more relieved but still nervously twisting her fingers. “I, uh, I brought you something.” She informed Lena as she fished around inside her backpack, pulling out two sealed tubs and a flask a few moments later. “Eliza asked me to drop this off, she said that you need more than the crummy hotel food to keep you going.”

“This is a five star hotel with a hired team of professional chefs.” Lena laughed as she gestured for Kara to sit down on the little couch in the small seating area. “Tell her I said thank you, though. She knows that her cooking is my favourite.”

  
”Yeah, there’s stew in one of these, it should still be warm but I can go downstairs and ask them to reheat it for you if I need to. There’s hot cocoa in the flask, and there’s some of her home-made gingerbread cookies too.”

“Thank you, for everything. It looks incredible.” Lena complimented as she gestured to the tupperware containers and the flask.

“Yeah, no, you’re welcome.” Kara smiled, although it was immediately clear that there was something else playing on her mind. “So anyway, I have some ideas for the shoot that I want to run by you, but I need to talk to you first about the wedding cake.” She schooled her expression into something a little more neutral.

“Of course.” Lena encouraged, deciding not to push for the answer of whatever was really going on inside Kara’s mind.

“Andrea called, she told me that the bakery won’t cater to events that are so last minute, _but_ I did a little research and they _do_ cater to couples.”

“So you’re saying..”

“We can go pick out a cake next week, I already called ahead and booked the appointment. We just have to lie and tell them that we’re the ones getting married.”

“Kara Danvers, a liar.” Lena breathed a laugh. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“I know I know.” Kara held her hands up. “It’s the only option we have though.”

“That’s fine, I’m in.” Lena assured her. “Now, why don’t you show me your ideas for the ceremony.”

Lena could still see the crinkle in her forehead, out in full force as Kara searched around in her bag for a few moments before pulling out a large sketch pad. She opened it up to one of the bookmarked pages and then settled it half on her own knee, and the other half on Lena’s as she began explaining her vision.

“Okay so, for the reception.” she gestured to the page.

“Mhm.” Lena encouraged.

“White lights and maybe some sheer white curtains or fabric, draped across the ceiling like a sort of starry night sky. Like the beach, when there aren’t any clouds and you can see for miles and miles.”

“That sounds beautiful. I love that idea.” She complimented as she looked at the sketch on the page.

“I was thinking about having lumières accenting each table too, kinda like moonlight, and a subtle blue glow. You know, like how the mist looks at sunrise?” Kara’s voice sounded mesmerizing as she painted the whole picture, gesturing to each little part on the sketch as she explained it. “A winter wonderland. Romantic?”

“Very much so.” Lena nodded slowly. “It’s perfect. I know you’ll capture it exactly how it’s supposed to be captured, just let me know what you need me to do.”

Lena listened intently to the rest of Kara’s ideas, running the pads of her fingers reverently over each sketch as it was shown to her. She was incredibly impressed, the way Kara spoke about things was captivating. Her brain thought in ways that were so different to her own, she saw things from a different perspective, but one that happened to complimented Lena’s own beautifully.

“Hey, listen, about earlier.. You know, bringing up the past.” Kara spoke up after packing away her sketch book once again, reverting back to nervously touching her fingers. Lena knew this was what had been on her mind when she first arrived at her door.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Lena cut her off before she could say anything more. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“No, it’s fine.” Kara assured her as she shifted to face her a little more on the little couch. “I just- I wanted to make sure that we’re okay.”

“We’re okay.” Lena promised.

“It’s just, I know that we didn’t end on the best terms, but I’m so glad that our paths got to cross again. Maybe I’m jumping the gun here, but I’d really like to keep down this route. I don’t want the job to finish and then we just go right back to strangers. If it’s something that you want too, of course, if not then I’ll absolutely respect your decision.”

“That would be nice.” Lena smiled softly. “I- I left because I was hurt, but there was a little part of me who didn’t blame you. I felt like I was holding you back, and I blamed myself. I know now that’s not the truth, but at the time it felt like me leaving was the best thing for everyone. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and I’m sorry that we ended how we did. We deserved more than that.”

“I wish I had stayed.” Kara admitted quietly. “I spent so much time trying to get the thought of you and I out of my mind afterwards, it seemed like the more I tried to forget, the more I remembered. I didn’t just lose the love of my life, I lost my best friend, you know? And it wasn’t until after you left that I realized I had lost you way before that. I didn’t deserve you back then, and you didn’t deserve to feel how I made you feel. I couldn’t even remember the last time that I‘d held you, or kissed you, or told you that I loved you to your face. I just.. I’d really love to have my friend back, if you’ll have me.”

“Come here, you big sap.” Lena immediately reached out and pulled Kara in for a hug, barely holding back her own tears as Kara sniffled into her hair. “It’s done now, okay? We can’t go back and change the past, regardless of how badly we may want to. All that we can do is move forward, and I’m totally on board with that. Walking away from you was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, but I will be honest and say that I don’t regret it. I regret how things turned out, I regret that we didn’t get the forever that we had planned, but I don’t get regret leaving. I needed to do it for myself, and for you. I really appreciate the apology now, it means more to me than I can say. I would love to have you back in my life again, Kara Danvers.”

Kara’s arms wrapped warmly around Lena’s waist as Lena held on tightly to her, rubbing a soothing hand up and down the expanse of her back as Kara settled down.

“I’ve thought about this for so long.” Kara admitted as she pulled away. “Just.. Seeing you again, and apologising for everything. I’m _so_ thankful for the opportunity to actually do it.”

“I’ve thought about it too.” Lena admitted quietly. “Christmases just aren’t the same without you there, or Eliza or Alex. I really do miss them too.”

“Come for dinner some time soon.” Kara offered softly. “We can go right after the cake tasting, if you want to. It’s over on that side of town, only a couple minutes from Eliza’s place.”

“Kara..”

“Come on, you know how happy Eliza will be to see you! The more the merrier around her dinner table, you know this. She misses you a lot, and it feels like I sort of took her away from you. Breakups really suck.”

“Yeah, they do.” Lena smiled sadly. “I’d love to come for dinner, as long as it’s alright with Eliza.”

“It’s more than alright, you’re always welcome there. Nothing has changed in regards to that.”

* * *

“Hi, I have an appointment booked under Luthor.” Lena greeted the lady behind the counter in the bakery, feeling a momentary second of confusion at the way her brows furrowed in response. Lena didn’t catch on until she felt an arm slip around her waist and pull her close.

“She means Mrs and Mrs Danvers-Luthor.” Kara clarified with a smile plastered on her face as Lena internally cursed herself for forgetting.

“Oh yes of course!” The woman beamed. “You two are having a Christmas wedding, right?”

“I know it’s super last minute, we were going to wait until the New Year, but she proposed so beautifully that I just didn’t want to spend one more second not being married to her.” Lena punctuated with an arm on Kara’s waist, giving her a little squeeze before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

Kara flushed red immediately, earning a laugh from the lady behind the counter as she spoke up once again.

“You two can go ahead and look around, pick out whichever design takes your fancy and I’ll be right back with some tasting samples.” She gestured around the little bakery before heading away into the back.

The place was beautiful, there were varying levels of intricacy on each cake, but it was clear that an incredible amount of work had gone into each and every one of them. Honestly, Lena had no idea what sort of thing she was looking for, but any one of them would suffice. There wasn’t a single one that she wasn’t impressed by.

They’d been working non stop for almost a week straight, long hours overseeing the sets being made and making sure that they got everything that they needed from each one. Lena had grown so accustomed to the sound of Kara’s camera going off that she didn’t even notice it anymore. They had fallen into step as a team, and things were coming together beautifully.

“Woah, hey, look at this one.” Kara beckoned Lena over to one of the little tables. “What do you think?”

There was a beautiful, three-tier cake standing proudly on display. Each tier was a perfect white square, stacked unevenly with red and silver striped ribbon painted onto the icing to mimic a pile of gifts.

“It’s perfect.” Lena agreed as she took in all of the little details - there were little bits of holly crafted from modelling chocolate and intricate little icing snowflakes all around.

“Care for a taste?” the woman reappeared once again, carrying a tray full of little cake squares.

Lena was unable to prevent the laugh that burst free upon seeing the excited way Kara’s eyes bulged at the mere sight.

“We’d love to. Thank you.” She answered on behalf of both of them as they each reached out and took a piece from the tray.

“Mhm.” Kara nodded her praise as she immediately picked up another piece.

“We’ll take this one.” Lena breathed a laugh as she gestured to the cake on the table. “And whichever flavour she picks out too.” She nodded in Kara’s direction.

“Definitely this one.” Kara held up her half eaten piece.

“Double chocolate.” The woman smiled as she scribbled it down on a little notepad.

“Why am I not surprised?” Lena laughed as Kara wiped her chocolate covered hands and face with a napkin.

* * *

“These are incredible!” Lena praised as Kara scrolled through the photos that she had taken so far. “Andrea and Modern Era Bridal are gonna be so happy with these Kara, so happy!”

“They still need a little more editing, but I think we’re off to a really good, strong start.” Kara smiled proudly. “I’ll have them emailed over ASAP.”

“This is more than just a start! We may actually be on track to finish this early, they’re brilliant.” Lena beamed excitedly. “We still have to shoot the reception, but the set should be complete within the next few days. Oh and the couple shots with the tree, and then it’s just some individual shots for the dresses and we’re done!”

“I’m so proud of you, Lena.” Kara closed her laptop screen, packing it away in it’s case before they made their way off the set.

“I’m proud of you, too. We make a pretty good team, huh?”

“Well yeah, but I could’ve told you that already.” Kara playfully bumped against her. “We can’t shoot anymore today until they finish the tree so do you wanna go get some ice cream?”

“Kara it’s quite literally freezing out here.” Lena laughed as they stepped out into the snow. “Why don’t you just pour some raspberry sauce on the ground and go to town.”

“Come on, the Christmas fair is in town! I bet they’ll have some of that disgusting hot wine that you like.”

“Mulled wine.” Lena laughed. “It’s not disgusting, you’ve just ruined your taste buds with sugar.”

“Says the woman who willingly used to drink a kale smoothie every single morning.” Kara teased.

“At least I didn’t start my day with a can of coke and a bag of chips!” Lena exclaimed with a laugh. “How are you even still alive?”

“I’m a little more responsible now, thank you very much.” Kara unlocked the car doors and climbed inside, immediately reaching to turn the heat on. “I still do enjoy the occasional salt and vinegar chip cola combo though.”

“I’m sure you do.” Lena scoffed playfully.

“So, do you wanna go?”

“I guess so.”

“Come on, Lena. I know you’re more excited about this than that.”

“Yes Kara, my soul is aching so desperately for you to drive us to the Christmas fair. Please, oh please get moving before the universe implodes due to my lack of mulled wine.”

“Much better, thank you.”

Kara turned the key in the ignition as they both laughed, carefully manoeuvring around the piles of snow in the parking lot before heading off towards the fair.

* * *

“This is really nice.” Lena admitted as they strolled mindlessly around all of the little booths.

She had forgotten not only how beautiful everything was, but also how it felt. She couldn’t quite explain it, there was just something about the glow from the lights this time of year, the smell of gingerbread and wine in the air, the variety of Christmas music drifting over to them from each booth as they passed.

There were stalls with a wild variety of candy, ones with beautifully hand-knitted hats and scarves, a couple were selling beautifully intricate stained glass ornaments from a booth on the end. There were some with hot dogs, and some with chocolate and marshmallow coated crepes - those ones always drew Kara in, and this year was no different. There were ones selling reindeer food for the kids, ones with wreaths and mistletoe. They had even managed to pick out a beautiful bauble for the bride and groom to hang on the tree together.

The energy was captivating.

“Yeah, it’s really nice. I’ve missed this.” Kara confessed as they mindlessly wandered around, Lena with her wine and Kara with her ice cream.

“Do you remember the first time you took me on a date here?” Lena breathed a quiet laugh, the air turning white in front of her face. “I fell over when we were ice skating and some idiot almost sliced my fingers off.”

“That wasn’t funny, it scared me so bad!” Kara exclaimed, eyes wide in horror at Lena’s apparent humour.

“Yeah right, you were just afraid that I wouldn’t be able to use my fingers!” Lena responded, immediately clamping her mouth shut and flushing red when she realized what she had said. “Sorry. That was weird. Is this weird? I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s kinda weird, but not in a bad way.” Kara admitted, her own cheeks flushed just as much as Lena’s as she gently reached out to take her hand in her own. “There’s not really a rule book for these types of situations, you know? _We fell in love as kids and now it’s five years later and we’re back in the same place and suddenly we’re..”_

“Suddenly we’re what?” Lena asked quietly as Kara trailed off.

She recognized the look in her eye immediately - it was a look that Lena hadn’t seen for a long time, but one that she had never ever forgotten. Kara’s eyes dropped briefly _briefly_ to her lips before focusing on her eyes once again. She was going to kiss her, or at least, she wanted to kiss her. Lena was more sure of it than anything else, and god, she found herself wishing for it as they stood there in the snow. _I want her to kiss me. Please, please kiss me._

“ _Please._ ” Lena breathed quietly into the air between them.

“W- We’re friends.” Kara cleared her throat as the moment slipped away from them, and Lena was left with the sudden, sobering reminder that once this was all over Kara would be going back to New York once again.

She hadn’t realized until that moment just how far she had allowed herself to fall over the last couple weeks - just how strongly she had entertained the idea of just _maybe_ letting Kara Danvers back into her heart. It was naive and stupid of her to do so, but she’d always been captivated by the woman standing before her in a way that she couldn’t quite explain. It seemed as though something in her heart was always reaching out for her, as though they were tethered together, the strings tugging painfully the more distance that was put between them.

She felt humiliated, ashamed of herself for entertaining the idea and allowing the reality of the distance between them to slip out of her mind.

“I- Uh.. We should get going.” Lena mumbled as she made to walk away, stopped short by a gentle tug on her hand. She had forgotten that it was still intertwined with Kara’s.

“Lena.” Kara pleaded softly. “Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what, Kara?”

“Don’t walk away.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Lena sighed, the frustration audible in her voice. “I don’t know how to do _this_ with you.” She gestured between them with her free hand. “I can’t be around you and not have these feelings, but I don’t know how to deal with them. I’m sorry for making it weird and like, asking you to kiss me or whatever, it was dumb and impulsive. I’m just confused, alright? It’s been years and I still feel like mush when you look at me, I still feel so comfortable with you and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to make it stop.”

“You don’t have to make it stop.” Kara told her softly. “I feel the same way about you, I just- I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to rush into anything, you know? If we have a second chance at this, at whatever it is that we’re both feeling, I want to get it right. I don’t want to ruin it, not again. I don’t think that I could handle losing you again.”

“Do you really want this?” Lena asked quietly. “Do you really, truly want this or do you just feel bad for what happened between us before?”

“Lena, this is all I’ve ever wanted. _You’re_ all that I’ve ever wanted, just as much now as I ever have. I’m so sure about this, there’s no one else out there for me. Trust me, I learned that lesson the hard way. You’re it for me, which is why I don’t want to screw this up. I wanna take it slow, if it’s something that you want.”

“Let’s just assume that I said yes, that I tell you right now there isn’t another soul out there that I’d rather call my own than yours. What happens when we leave here? What happens when the Christmas lights come down and we go back to our normal lives? Are you prepared to go through that again? We have established careers in different states, Kara. It’s not like it used to be, when we were just starting out.”

“Lena-”

“I mean, I know that things are different now, but how slow would we be taking things if we only saw one another a handful of times per year? Even if we could manage more than that, there would come a point where one of us would have to make the decision to leave.”

“ _Lena-”_

_“_ And that’s not taking into account the time that we would be spending with our families, or with our friends. I want to give this another go, I really do. More than anything. I just don’t think that I’m strong enough to handle losing you again.”

“Andrea offered me a job in National City.” Kara blurted out a little louder than necessary, cutting through Lena’s ramblings as she immediately fell silent.

“I- What?” Lena blinked rapidly a few times in an attempt to clear the fog in her mind.

“I wasn’t going to tell you at first, I wanted to see if we would even be able to work together at all. This shoot is kinda like my test run with the company. They said if all goes well, which it is, then I have a job in National City if I want it, the contract is already written up. They’re just waiting for a signature.”

“Y- You’re moving to the city?”

“I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of inviting you back into something with me if I couldn’t give you the stability that you deserve. I wouldn’t do that to you again, Lena.” The sincerity in Kara’s eyes was enough to make Lena’s legs feel weak as she breathed in slow, deep lungfuls of cold air.

“You’re really staying?” Lena could hear the disbelief in her own voice

“If you’ll have me.” Kara smiled softly. “I want to take you out on a proper date, and I want to get to you know again. I want to fall in love with who you are now, and I already know that I will because I feel it already. I just.. I know that not many people are lucky enough to get a second chance at love, and I’m not going to let it slip away this time, Lena. I’m going to be everything that you deserve, for as long as you’ll have me.”

To say that Lena was overwhelmed would be an understatement. She felt dizzy from the sheer intensity of her emotions, gripping onto Kara’s hand like a lifeline before she felt herself be pulled into her arms. She hadn’t even realised she was crying until Kara began gently shushing her, a hand wrapped around her waist and one gently holding her head as she clung into Kara like a koala.

Perhaps this would implode in her face. Perhaps she would look back on this moment in the future and regret each and every second of it, maybe it would make her throat burn and her heart shatter beyond repair, but maybe, just maybe, this was her own little Christmas miracle.

* * *

_Five Years Later_

“Lena sweetheart, would you mind giving me a hand with those other lights?” Eliza called down from the step ladder that she was standing on, arms pinning the lights to the crease where the wall met the ceiling.

“Yeah, of course.” Lena smiled as she began untangling the pile on the floor, stopping only when she felt a pair of arms wrap firmly around her waist and nuzzle into her neck.

“Need any help?” Kara mumbled into her neck as she began peppering it with soft, ticklish kisses.

“I need you to stop distracting me.” Lena giggled as she wriggled in her arms, making no real attempt to get away as Kara continued to kiss her. “If you want our wedding to look pretty then you need to actually let me get to work making it pretty.”

“It’s gonna be pretty anyway.” Kara assured her as she spun Lena around in her arms. “I have the most beautiful bride in the whole entire world.”

“Oh yeah, well I just so happen to think that _I_ have the most beautiful bride in the whole entire world.” Lena smiled as she set the lights down, stepping up on her tip toes to wrap her arms around Kara’s neck. “I still think we’re crazy for doing this at Christmas though. It was crazy enough when it was just for the shoot, let alone an actual real wedding.”

“It’ll be perfect.” Kara promised with a soft kiss to her lips. “If we can wind up with the most popular shoot of the entire season _and_ two promotions after just a couple weeks of work, imagine how amazing it’s gonna be when we’ve been planning it for a year.”

“You know I’d marry you right now, right?” Lena smiled dreamily. “I’d marry you anywhere at all.”

“I would too, but I think Ruby will kill us if we run off and elope before she gets to wear her flower girl dress.” Kara breathed a laugh as Lena giggled into her neck.

“That’s very true.”

“I love you, Lena Luthor.” Kara pulled back a little, tucking stray hair behind Lena’s ear as she smiled softly down at her. “So much.”

“I love you, Kara Danvers.” Lena’s eyes glistened with adoration as she allowed herself to get lost in Kara’s own for a long moment. “To the moon and back.”

* * *

Kara and Lena shared their first kiss as a married couple beneath a beautifully crafted flower arch, a sprig of mistletoe adorned with a shiny red ribbon hanging from the top, watching proudly below as two rekindled souls began their journey of forever.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was initially going to be broken down into two chapters, but we've had a recent family bereavement and things have been so crazy i just didn't have the time to write it all out like i had planned, but i really hope that you all enjoyed it anyway <3
> 
> merry christmas, lots of love from me xxx

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on twitter - @kashymcgraths <33


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